“Right now, I can say that my marrying her was the biggest mistake of
my life, I don’t enjoy my life and I’ve never hated life so much like I
do now, and I hate my wife for making my life miserable,” he says.
Ladipo Blaise asked this question so he can get help on how to handle
his situation. He needs help on how to approach divorcing his heavily
pregnant wife.
And Knowing Mamalettes, I know right now you are fuming with anger at
the man, but before you rain curses on him let me tell you about his
situation.
”Before we got married, my wife and I argude sometimes, but not
frequently and most times we resolved our conflict peacefully. It was
after our marriage that things changed, the fight got worse to the point
that she will be yelling at me while I remain silent until she calmed,
for I know it will get worse if I say a word.”
“When she told me the news of her being pregnant, we were so happy
and excited, we had always wanted children, this is good for our
marriage, and maybe it will change the situation of things in our
marriage,” he continued to relate.
Little did I know that it will make things worse. All hell broke lose, and my wife has become intolerable.
“She shouts and throws a fit at little provocation. If I’m late in
washing the dishes, if a single plate isn’t properly cleaned and
arranged or if I sleep for more than 6 hours I’m in trouble.”
“I don’t mind that she has turned me into her personal maid, I mean
pregnancy is hard but for her to be unappreciative of my efforts,
shouting and nagging is hard on me,” he continued
“And when she’s like that, she can’t be reasoned with, you can’t talk
to her. And when I used a soothing word like “Calm down “Alabeni” (her
oriki) I expect her to at least listen to my pleading, but instead she
will flair up and it makes her worse. There are times, she gets
physical, I mean she raises her hands at me” he said.
This is a time I ought to be happy at the prospect of being a father,
but instead she’s draining the life out of me by her incessant fights
and arguments. I’m going through emotional, physical and mental abuse
right now in my marriage. And all joy is drained out of me, anytime I
see her, I always avoid her”
“The truth is, I regret marrying her, this isn’t the woman I feel in
love with. And no, I don’t feel any love for this new woman that’s my
wife, this mother of our unborn baby,” he confessed.
“There was a time she threw a fork at my face, it hit me just below
the eye. I think it may be because she has suffered from depression
before, but now she has stopped using her drugs when she was a teenager,
she claimed they never worked for her anyway, but now I’m so scared to
be around her”
I know most women are depressed when they are pregnant and so they
behave strangely at times. But I can’t even tell her how her action is
sapping me of energy, and I dare not discuss seeing a psychologist or a
therapist with her. She will go gaga if I suggest she’s going crazy,”
“I’m sure she wouldn’t want any medical intervention, and I don’t
even want any therapy at this stage, all I want to do is get out of this
marriage. I can’t continue living like this,” he concluded in his post.
The man is frustrated and scared of his wife, he’s afraid his wife
will hurt him and if that happens they will grant her asylum since she
already had a depression case. He’s in a dilemma, he doesn’t want his
wife to hurt him, herself or their unborn child.
“I know people will have more sympathy for the abuser than the abused
because she’s a woman and she’s pregnant, but the bottom line is, my
wife is making a hell out of my life, she is abusing me. And I can’t
fold my hands and keep suffering, I want a divorce, but I don’t know how
to go about it.”
The man has spoken to his lawyer and he’s about to divorce his pregnant wife.
What advise would you render to this man. Should he go ahead and divorce his wife? or is their a way to remedy the situation?